Happiness Hive Podcast Episode 72 - Catherine Bowyer - Goal Setting with Purpose Aligning Your Goals with Your Values
[00:00:00] (Intro) Hi, welcome to the Happiness Hive podcast. I'm Catherine Bowyer, and I am completely fascinated by people and what motivates them. I've spent the past three and a half decades specializing in mindset and human behaviour, and I've helped thousands of people to create happy and amazing lives. And now I am super excited to be chatting with women from around the world who I have secret, and to be honest, not so secret crushes on. They're women who inspire me. I'm intrigued as to how they do life and what makes them tick. I want to find out their magic formula that makes them who they are. And at the end of the episode, I'd love for you to say, I'd like a little bit of what she's having. The conversations are real and raw. They're full of passion, inspiration, and lots of fun and nothing is off limits. So grab yourself a cuppa or pop on your trackie and go for a walk and join us for today's chat. [00:01:00] There may just be that pearl of wisdom you need to hear. So let's shimmy on over and get started.
[00:01:05] Hi, how are you going? I'm feeling fantastic. I'm absolutely feeling so incredibly amazing. Welcome to another short little episode of the series of the podcast that I'm calling Quick Sticks Happiness Tips. I hope you're enjoying them. They're really just some bite sized practical tips and insights that are based on, you know, things that are happening in my life, things that are happening in other people's lives that can help to either boost a little happiness to help you navigate those things that, happening in life.
[00:01:47] So my, my goal is for them to be practical, short, 10, 15 minute little episodes, little quick pick me up. Just a little dash of positivity and like one [00:02:00] or a couple of little quick tips at a time.
[00:02:02] So today I'm going to be just talking about goal setting with purpose and aligning your goals with your values.
[00:02:11] I talk a lot about inspired action, taking inspired action, goal setting, intentions. And I've had people ask me, what do I really mean when I'm talking about the alignment, having goals that are in alignment with what are important to you. What does that inspired action actually mean? So for me, it's about just not taking any action or not just kind of aimlessly doing stuff, although sometimes aimlessly doing stuff is kind of, what the universe has planned for us because we're not really aimlessly. But anyway, that's a whole different conversation, perhaps.
[00:02:59] [00:03:00] So, so goal setting for me, it's about working out what my core values are and knowing who I am and what's important to me in life. And I've shared this in previous episodes. I think it was the one where I was talking about the new year, fabulous next level you.
[00:03:18] And I was talking about the process that I go through in planning and thinking about the, the year ahead and part of that process is really reconnecting with my values and what is it that's important to me in life and also those different pools of my, my life well. So, and some people have find the process of even determining values, not really sure what their values are.
[00:03:50] There's a whole process you can go through with that. I'm not going to go into that in detail now, but it can, just briefly, thinking about what's important to you in [00:04:00] life. I mentioned my really important things in my life happiness health and wellbeing and living a rich and abundant life. So living my best and most beautiful life, they're kind of the overarching things that are important to me in life and everything is a subset.
[00:04:18] So when I'm setting goals, I begin, I define my core values. These are my North star. I've talked about the lighthouse on the horizon. These, the values are really that overarching 'what I'm about' and what I, what's important to me in life.
[00:04:37] You can Google values, you know, that can be useful, but really sit with it within yourself and go, well, what is important to me in life?
[00:04:47] So identify and understand your core values. You know, what are the principles and beliefs, the things that matter to you most. You could even just do a brain, brain dump about what matters to me, what's [00:05:00] important to me in life. And then just let that free flow. And then you'll see that there's categories there.
[00:05:07] For me, happiness, there's so many things that fall under happiness. It's about what lights me up. What, what makes me happy? Where am I the happiest? What's joy and fulfillment? And what, what is that? Just all the things that I do internally, how I feel about myself, but the external things as well.
[00:05:32] So think about what matters to you most, because the values really provide that foundation for your meaningful goal setting. Because, and it's like your why, what, What's your why? Because when we're setting goals, why do we want to achieve those goals?
[00:05:51] Now we have a big one coming up. You've probably heard me go on about this, our sea change that's happening. Huge, huge goal in our life. And it [00:06:00] fits with my values. So many values. It's got, it is going to make me happy. So incredibly happy. It fits in with my health and wellbeing as well. Gosh, can you imagine? I can so imagine this at the coast, walking along the beach every morning with Boston doing my meditation on the beach. How amazing that will be for my physical, mental, emotional wellbeing, swimming in the ocean, cleansing like the beautiful sea water. My health and wellbeing, the sea, air, hanging out with people that I love, providing a space that is a, a space that people just come and hang out. That's part of that health and wellbeing. That's part of the happiness, but that's also part of that rich and abundant life. So that fits in with my goals.
[00:06:56] If I was to, choose a [00:07:00] goal that wasn't aligned with where I'm at, it would be hard for me to get excited about making that happen. I think you can probably tell in my voice how I feel about this sea change. But if I'm doing a goal because, say, the neighbours have done something, it's just like, oh, I've got to do that because the neighbours have done that. Or I'm moving to the coast because You know, a friend's done it and I've got to copy what they're doing. That's completely different energy.
[00:07:25] And that's not aligned with what's important to me. So this brings it back to me and it gets me out of that comparison of what other people are doing. This keeps me in my lane. It gets me out of other people's lanes and into my lane. So it's about that's the foundation of meaningful goal setting.
[00:07:43] And then, reflect on your, your personal dreams. So the first step is thinking about your, your core values and then reflecting on your personal dreams, your goals, your aspirations and the long term, but also the short term, you know, what do you truly, truly, truly want in [00:08:00] this life?
[00:08:01] And I'm, am I surprised? I'm probably not surprised. A lot of people don't know the answer to that. A lot of people do. There's a lot of people that don't know the answer to that. What would you love to have happen in this life? What would you love? What is the, what, what would you want to experience? What would you want to do? What, who would you want to be? What would you want to have in your life?
[00:08:26] This is starting to really allow yourself to think about and dream about what you want in life. You know, reflecting on your, your personal vision helps align the goals with your overarching purpose. So we're starting to see some links here.
[00:08:42] And then when it's starting to get some clarity about what you want in life, then how can you actually start to manifest and bring these dreams alive? It's not, Oh, I'm just going to dream about it and it will happen. Although sometimes that does happen, but that's not [00:09:00] the process. The process for me is about a co-creation process.
[00:09:04] The universe has some things mapped out for me, but I also have choice and control over the things that I choose that I bring into my life.
[00:09:12] So I set intentions of what I would like to have happen. So years gone by, I've had the intention that I want to live by the sea and it's been a goal, but it's been my intention. For me, the intention allows me to free up what can happen around that. I haven't had a goal that it has to be, you know, exactly this way. I've detached from the specifics of the outcome, but now that we're getting closer, my goal, I'm starting to get more specific. It's not just an intention. It's becoming a very specific goal.
[00:09:53] And I'm now setting, the, the actions that I need to take [00:10:00] to make that happen. But one step before that is I create ideal scenes for what I want to have happen in life. So my goal setting is setting an intention. I create an ideal scene. And the way that I do that is I write it on paper and I have a heart shape because I just that just works for me. And then I write in the middle of the heart what I want, to what my ideal intention is. And then off the heart, I write all the things they called, I am statements. I'm just getting a copy for those of you who can see here. I'm just in my, so those, those of you that are watching me online I've got my, this is called my manifesting magic book with my ideal scenes in it.[00:11:00]
[00:11:00] This one, you can see there's a lot there. There's a heart with lots of different. elements that are coming off the heart, but it's, I'm living in my beautiful dream home and have created a gorgeous lifestyle sanctuary. I'm living in my dream home, surrounded by beauty and abundance and enjoying a lifestyle of peace, fulfillment, and bliss.
[00:11:23] And I've gone around the heart with all the things about what my beautiful dream sanctuary lifestyle is going to be like, so I immerse myself in that process, but you can see that that's aligned with my overarching core values.
[00:11:42] So I set my intentions. I create my ideal scene. I break then down into specific goals and then actions and I talk about inspired actions. I'm not just doing any random stuff. I'm thinking [00:12:00] about where does that fit in to the goal that fits into, my dreams that fit with my core values as well. So there's this line of sight, between them all. So I break down those larger goals and I'm getting into very specificness now around this sea change that I've got a list. I was going to say that John's executing. We're both working on it, but I've got a very specific list of actions that we need to happen because we're getting into the pointy end. And it's not just about dreaming. This is part of the doing process now. So I get into that those goals and I get really, really specific and really practical around what needs to happen.
[00:12:53] And so it's also for me, the decision making the, the having my goals [00:13:00] in alignment with purpose and my values really helps me when I'm faced with a decision or an opportunity to go through a triage process. And the triage process is that is it in alignment with what I want in life? Is it in alignment with my values? And I can very quickly tell if something's in alignment or not.
[00:13:21] Sometimes, I, my radar hasn't been as, as helpful for me and I've slipped into some stuff that have not been in alignment, but I've soon, soon realized that. So when, you know, is it in alignment with what I want? Will it take me closer to what I want or will it take me further away?
[00:13:43] So this is my triaging kind of process. Sometimes it happens very, very quickly. Sometimes I have to really think about this and be very conscious in my thoughts. You know, will it take me closer to where I want to go or will it take me further away? And a little example of that [00:14:00] is there was a business opportunity that came up for me in the last couple of weeks.
[00:14:05] And it was an opportunity to do some work that on the surface looked very enticing and it looked and it felt really good and I imagined myself doing that work and it felt very good. But when I drilled into it more, it would have impacted on our move because it was a longer term project. It would have impacted on our move to the coast and there's no way I would, there is no way that I would entertain that. And it was kind of really weighing up going, Oh my gosh, this looks like a, I would say it was almost an ideal [00:15:00] body of work to do, but when I went into it, it just would have impacted. And it was like, well, no, that I'm not going to do it. I'm not even going to, they approached me to, to do that work. And I just went, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
[00:15:21] So it was going to take me further away from my goal. I'm trusting that my, my whole decision making is like really trusting and not feeling anxious or stressed, although sometimes I do feel anxious and stressed, but not, I'm detaching from the specific outcome. It doesn't mean that I'm letting go of things, but I'm trusting that the universe has my back.
[00:15:44] And I'm really in tune with, I've said a lot of times that I'm discerning about where I'm placing my energy. I am in tune with [00:16:00] what's a resounding yes, I'm going to pursue this and what's a resounding no. And part of me is that the thought process, but a lot of it is about how I feel about that. And so I'm using my, my, my heart in combination with my head where I used to make decisions was very much a head then heart.
[00:16:27] I use gut, heart, head about, you know, if there's a decision or an opportunity, really tuning in with what's going to fit for me where I'm at my life and what's important to me. And that helps me get out of that for all of those women, especially out there that have suffered from that imposter syndrome.
[00:16:53] Often we're just so caught up in what other people are doing. When I am really clear about [00:17:00] what I want for me, I'm not even interested in what's going on for other people. And you know, I, I am, of course, I'm interested in you, but not in relation to what I'm doing in my life.
[00:17:15] And having said all that, it sounds very structured and very, planned out. It kind of is, but. It isn't. There's a lot of flexibility within that. But I do stay flexible and I do stay open to opportunities and I adjust how things are along the way. That the, my goals are based on a, an evolving kind of process.
[00:17:40] Now, the sea change, it's going to happen where we're going to live exactly, not a hundred percent sure yet. Some of the things that are happening in relation to that, I'm moving those. It's like, I'm playing this game of chess and I'm moving the [00:18:00] pieces around to, actually, I'm not sure if chess is a good analogy there, but anyway, You know, what I had thought was, was going to happen about selling our property here and moving into a property there.
[00:18:14] That's changed. You know, there's been different versions of that. And what we're doing is we're selling probably almost a year earlier than we had anticipated. So it just means that the flow on of that, there's some different things that are happening. So I've been open. If I was rigid and going, no, that's not going to happen, then that would have being different flow on effects. So I've been absolutely open, but my end goal is that we will be living at the coast.
[00:18:41] So goal setting with purpose. Really it's about aligning, knowing your values, your core values, what's important to you, reflecting on your dreams and your aspirations and what you want. creating an ideal scene around that [00:19:00] and when I say an ideal scene, what do I really want to have happen? And then creating goals and, and taking inspired action that's in line with that. And then when, when decisions and opportunities come up, asking yourself, are these going to help me to get to where I want to go? Or are they going to take me away?
[00:19:21] Or is this new opportunity going to replace what I thought was going to happen? So there's a whole lot of triage that goes on there. Stay flexible and just really love and embrace where you're at. So that's today's little, quick sticks happiness tip, a little bit longer, but still shorter. I will talk to you later and I would love it for you to leave a review.
[00:19:50] I would love that. just let me know how you're going with your goal setting or any of the other things that we've talked about. I would really love an update. Hugs and happiness. [00:20:00] Bye bye.
[00:20:01] Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed the episode. You can spread the love by sharing it with a friend so she can have a little bit of what we had today. And don't forget to rate and review, so we can get it into as many hearts and ears as possible. You can keep the conversation going over on my socials at The Happiness Hive. And if you'd like more high vibe happiness in your life, come and join me in our community of inspired and motivated women, where you'll have everything that you need to be truly happy and bounce out of bed every day, living and loving your best and most beautiful life. To find out more, pop over to the Happiness Hive website and click on the link Working with Catherine. Until next time, big hugs and happiness.