Happiness Hive Podcast Episode 69 - The Art of Slowing Down: Chillin' Without the Guilt
[00:00:00] (Intro) Hi, welcome to the Happiness Hive podcast. I'm Catherine Bowyer, and I am completely fascinated by people and what motivates them. I've spent the past three and a half decades specializing in mindset and human behaviour, and I've helped thousands of people to create happy and amazing lives. And now I am super excited to be chatting with women from around the world who I have secret, and to be honest, not so secret crushes on. They're women who inspire me. I'm intrigued as to how they do life and what makes them tick. I want to find out their magic formula that makes them who they are. And at the end of the episode, I'd love for you to say, I'd like a little bit of what she's having. The conversations are real and raw. They're full of passion, inspiration, and lots of fun and nothing is off limits. So grab yourself a cuppa or pop on your trackie and go for a walk and join us for today's chat. [00:01:00] There may just be that pearl of wisdom you need to hear. So let's shimmy on over and get started.
[00:01:05] (Gap) Welcome to a new little series that I'm going to be dipping into from time to time on the podcast, and I'm calling it Quick Sticks Happiness Tips. So this is going to be a series that will deliver like just an instant little dose of magic to brighten your day. And in these episodes, I'm going to just serve up some bite sized practical tips and insights to not only boost your happiness, but to help you with maybe some of those tricky things that we face in life or just different things that I'm sort of inspired by clients that I work with, what I'm going through as well. And some of those common things that we experience.
[00:01:55] So I'm going to. Just do a little bite size, sort of 10, 15 minute [00:02:00] episodes. And so whether you're just seeking a mood lift or wanting to relieve some, relieve some stress, or just a quick little pick me up, tune into these episodes for your little dash of positivity. So just one or maybe a couple of little tips within it at a time.
[00:02:19] So what I'm going to start with, which is probably more for me than it is for you, but it's the art of slowing down and just being able to chill out without feeling guilty. There's a lot of people that I come into contact with, especially when I'm with my coaching clients and the corporate coaching clients who are busy, busy, overwhelmed, busy, and they're just saying things are getting out of control, but I can't, you know, if I don't do something, you know, some flow on effects going to happen. [00:03:00] And I say to them, I know what the flow on effect is going to be. You're going to get sick and not, not be able to do anything.
[00:03:06] So it's about that art of slowing down in your way without feeling guilty about it. The work is always going to be there. Oh my God. The stuff is always going to be there. It's about how you manage yourself so it doesn't end up burning you out.
[00:03:24] And when you're not feeling great, you're not performing at your optimum level anyway. So you might be busy, but I bet you're not doing a fantastic job at it. So it's about really having that slowing down in your way, so you can get, you know, feel refreshed and relaxed and that mental clarity that will help you to be more productive, more creative, and basically you feel better about yourself.
[00:03:57] I always have a bit of a funny thing when people say slow [00:04:00] down it kind of. makes my shoulders, twitch a little bit. I'm busy. I'm the, I'm the queen of busy and my busyness has not always been productive busy, but a lot of the time it has, I'm wired to be busy. I'm absolutely wired to be busy.
[00:04:18] I'm been, human design. I'm a manifesting generator. And for those of you unfamiliar with the human design, it's. That that's my energy type. And it's about going fast and doing lots of things. And within the human design, framework, I have a channel of energy that is the busiest out of all the different any energy types. And I've always said that I have two speeds, that I'm flat out or I'm off. And it's kind of true.
[00:04:52] But what I've been doing is not just being busy for the sake of busy. And I, I don't think I was ever busy for the sake of [00:05:00] busy, but I sometimes put my energy into things that maybe I didn't need to put as much energy in. So I don't think I'm ever going to be a completely chilled out, slow down person. I'm designed to have a lot of things on the go.
[00:05:16] But what I've changed doing is I'm not just doing everything and over committing. I'm much more discerning about where I spend my energy. I am much more discerning about what I say yes to and what I say no to. And I do things that truly light me up. That's the big change for me.
[00:05:40] So part of my slowing down is really tuning in and what lights me up. Like truly from my core lights me up, not just doing it because it's like, Oh, there's a little spark and then regretting that I said, yes, the next day.
[00:05:56] And my art of slowing down is not [00:06:00] rushing in to things. I still do a lot of stuff, but I don't rush into things and I don't overcommit. That's what slowing down looks like for me is discerning about what I say yes to, what I say no to, and not rushing into things as much as I used to. I take time to make decisions and take a breath before automatically saying yes.
[00:06:26] So I still do a lot. I still have a lot going on, but the start of the process is kind of where I've been learning to slow down. So it can look different for different people.
[00:06:40] I even the other day, and I haven't, I'm pretty good at taking time out for me, but I had a facial the other day.
[00:06:52] I don't have facials a lot, and it took me a little bit to sort of get into it and [00:07:00] relax. I was a little bit fidgety, but probably, you know, 10 minutes into it. I really just embraced that experience and it was, it felt really good. It was just not just good for my skin, but it was really good for my soul just to be there and do nothing other than be with my thoughts and my thoughts were just really peaceful, beautiful thoughts.
[00:07:26] So I think it's, think about, you know that saying about putting your own oxygen mask on first, that you need to, to look after you if you are feeling tired, if you are feeling, that it's been hard for you to sort of slow down.
[00:07:51] How can you do it and give yourself permission that you don't have to be [00:08:00] doing stuff all the time. Give yourself permission that you can move into that space of just being. That it's about putting your oxygen mask on first, because if you're working at a ridiculous fast pace, it's not going to be sustainable.
[00:08:19] And especially for people that have different, that are wired differently, that you need to really honor and listen to what your body needs, what your mind needs, and what your soul needs. And think about what that looks like for you, because my version of slowing down might be different than your version of slowing down.
[00:08:45] So, thinking about because the work's still going to be there for you. And also think about, one of the things that pops into my head from time to time is, what are people going to say at my funeral? Are they going to say, Oh my God, she was [00:09:00] just so busy. And she was, God, I hope they don't. Although. I hope they say that I did good stuff while I was busy, that it was useful stuff, that I made a difference through being busy.
[00:09:13] But, but what are the things that matter to you and you can't, you can't do it all and give you permission, self permission that you. Don't have to do it all.
[00:09:24] There was a very, very senior executive that I'm working with and he is burnt out. The year, the last couple of years have been huge for him. And he said, I'm actually taking time off. I I'm allowing myself to enjoy the time off. There's somebody that's going to be fulfilling his role while he's on leave. I'm going to trust them and really re charge, reconnect, recalibrate. And he gave himself permission to do it. And he said, I haven't done that for a couple of years. So that's what slowing down looks [00:10:00] like.
[00:10:01] You can even it's sometimes a mindset shift. It can be about, you know, I deserve moments of rest and rejuvenation. I'm allowed to prioritize my well being and happiness. Taking breaks is vital, is a vital part of my self care routine. I release any guilt associated with slowing down. It's a gift to myself.
[00:10:23] So the slowing down isn't just a physical act, it's also the mindset shift there. And you can do things, they don't, slowing down can just be absolutely doing nothing. When my husband slows down, he does absolutely nothing. I'm like, oh my god, that. Yeah, that's his slowdown. He needs to do that. He's calibrated differently. His energy is calibrated very differently to mine. He needs to take those breaks where he just completely does nothing because he will really burn out.
[00:10:57] It could be that you just read [00:11:00] a book, you do what you love, you do nothing. It doesn't have to cost money. You don't have to go and do facials or anything like that.
[00:11:10] And I have really another part of what I've done to slow down is my morning rituals. I have a, I go for a walk, do my walking meditation, take Bosti for a walk. But when I come back and have my breakfast and ease into the day, I don't have any, sound on in the background. I used to have the radio playing and listening to news and just like that just kind of drained my soul.
[00:11:39] So the quiet start to the day is very different. I don't. Look at any technology until I've, eased into the day. So that's my, my morning ritual is quite different.
[00:11:53] So, think about what life's like for you. And do you [00:12:00] feel that you, you need to be working at that frantic pace? Is it sustainable? Can you do things differently?
[00:12:07] What would slowing down look like for you now? What would that look like for you? And if you don't know, maybe just sit with that and go, how would I feel if I slowed down? Would I feel guilty? Or would I actually feel amazing by doing that? What are the rules I'm putting on myself about the cadence of what I'm, you know, busyness of what I'm doing. And this isn't just work busy. This is just life busy.
[00:12:34] What can you incorporate into your daily routine to slow down and what can you build into your life routine? So are there things that you can do maybe just incrementally? Just having a slower pace to the morning or taking breaks during the day. This could be a, just slowing down on a daily basis or a life basis.
[00:12:57] Think about what triggers that you [00:13:00] experience if you take things slower, like guilt, people relying on you, you're going to let people down. This is a big one and it often comes up not so much now for me, but it has before. People will think I'm lazy if I'm not busy doing stuff. That's BS. That's your vision. That's the story you're telling yourself.
[00:13:22] So that's it. That's just some tips about really take time out to listen to the podcast and slow down. A lot of you probably are doing this multitasking, walking, in the car, doing other stuff. I'm a multitasker. I'm wired to be a multitasker. A lot of people aren't. And it's not always great outcomes by multitasking, but. think about how you can slow down.
[00:13:49] And if you'd like some more tips, just some quick little tips, sign up to the happiness hive newsletter. I share other quick tips there in the newsletter about living [00:14:00] your best and most fabulous life.
[00:14:01] So head over to the happiness hive website. Details are in the show notes, but it's happiness hyphen hive. com. Sign up to the newsletter. There's free resources there. Have a look around, see what other amazing things are on offer and I'll see you in the next little Quick Sticks Happiness Tips episode.
[00:14:22] Thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed the episode. You can spread the love by sharing it with a friend so she can have a little bit of what we had today. And don't forget to rate and review, so we can get it into as many hearts and ears as possible. You can keep the conversation going over on my socials at The Happiness Hive. And if you'd like more high vibe happiness in your life, come and join me in our community of inspired and motivated women, where you'll have everything that you need to be truly happy and bounce out of bed every day, living and loving your best and most beautiful life. To find out [00:15:00] more, pop over to the Happiness Hive website and click on the link Working with Catherine. Until next time, big hugs and happiness.